14 Years

Sometimes life is hectic and nights are sleepless and times are not quiet, and yet in that moment God finds a way to speak to me. Whether it be through friends or family or short phrases whispered by our children God finds a way to grab my heart when I simply cannot find a moment to sit and be still.

 

This week God used an email from a friend to continually bring my mind back to Him...even in the midst of inconsolable children.

 

My friend reminded me of Psalm 29 - a Psalm that this friend and I had set to music several years ago.

 

At the age of 21 reading Psalm 29 hit me like a punch to the gut, it overwhelmed me with the image of God’s power. Even a girl like me (who often “missed” things or had things go over my head) wouldn’t be able to not pay attention in the situation the Psalmist describes:

 

“The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon...The voice of the Lord flashes like lightning. The voice of the Lord shakes the wilderness.”

 

This description of a destructive voice resulted in an unexpected feeling:  comfort.  It was a comfort in my relative youth that this booming, all-powerful voice of God was the same voice that was also  still and small. That it had the ability to get my attention in a way that was irrefutable. It could shake me. It could break me. But at the same time, it could be small and a comfort.

 

I’ve meditated on that passage for the past few weeks and my appreciation for the Psalmist’s message has only deepened over the past 14 years.

 

I read the words and am able to look back on moments of immense joy and know that it was God. I can look back on seasons filled with grief and pain so debilitating that I could barely breathe and know that it too was God - that nothing was beyond the reach of His voice. The words let me see the hand of God as I look back and encourage me as I look ahead.

 

Scripture urges us on several occasions to meditate on God’s word. The original Hebrew for “meditate” is hagah and according to Strong’s Concordance it means “to moan, growl, utter, speak, muse”.

 

That definition fits well with my life. I know there are times when all I can do it simply moan the Word in grief and pain and sorrow. There are still other times when I growl it ferociously over a loved one or a child as I pray for their salvation. And still, there are times when I simply muse.

 

It has taken 14 years, but now I feel like the Psalm is truly sinking in. Taking root in my heart. I am more able to recognize its truth in even the murkiest of earthly moments.

 

I pray for you and for myself that today we will meditate on God’s scripture. That we would practice this meditation in the simplest of ways and allow His voice to sink deeply into our hearts - whether it be still and small or shaking us to a breaking point.

 

 

Written by Lydia Wells

 

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