Mark Driscoll LoveLife - Session 2

Mark Driscoll has identified how to be friends in a marriage, and next he discusses the need to talk about how we fight in a marriage.

Below are some of the notes from Driscoll’s talk:

“In a marriage you are going to fight, the key is how to fight well for the glory of God.”

“Sin is like trash and we need to take it out.”

“A Christian view of marriage should be a biblical view of marriage.”

“Christians are not looking for good advice but for good news!”

“You are going to sin against each other, but the big question is what are you going to do when you do sin?”

“Sin is a condition and an action. Sin includes commission, when we do a bad thing, and includes omission, when we don’t do anything.”

Driscoll discusses the common process for most of us that we do when we fight. This process that Driscoll discussed that when a fight occurs it goes to criticism. From criticism it then transitions into being content and not seeking change. After being content people tend to start to become to be defensive over all things, and then they begin stonewalling each other by just walking out of the room.

“So what do you do with sin? What do you do when you are the one who sins?”

Driscoll begins to present the gospel that you must first identify that you are guilty. Repentance is key in this process. Driscoll defines that repentance is turning away from your sin on a daily basis. The problem here in the south, Driscoll states, is that these churches say that repentance is what you do at the beginning of your christian life, but really repentance is repenting every day.

“Christianity says that I am my own worst enemy. I am the one who can do the most damage to my life. And by acknowledging my sin there are three things that I need to do:”

1. Confess your sins to one another.

When you have sinned you must confess to your spouse and to those that you have sinned against, but most importantly you must confess to God.

2. Contrition which is being broken by your sin.

“Some of you see sin as breaking the law, but sin is also breaking God’s heart.”

“Sin is not just paying the fine like a speeding ticket but feeling the weight of breaking God’s heart.”

The brokenness of our sin is a sign that we understand what our sin does to God and others.

3. Change from what you are doing to what God calls you to be.

“If you keep doing it then you are not repentent. I want to be more like Jesus and less like me.”

There is the sinner and the person sinned against. But what do you do if you are the victim of sin.

We are most likely to become bitter against those we are close too even if its not a big thing. If you can become bitter against God then you can become bitter against one another. Therefore, it is extremely important that we learn and live out how the Bible calls us to forgive. Driscoll provides some major points when it comes to forgiveness:

1. Forgiveness is not denying that sin occurred.

2. Forgiveness is not being naive to what has been done.

3. Forgiveness is not enabling sin

4. Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

5. Forgiveness is not neglecting justice.

Driscoll concludes this session pointing out that Christ has died for our sins and forgiven us for are many sins against God so rejoice and praise God that our identity is not found in what we once were before Christ. Therefore, forgive just like Christ has forgiven you! Some of you have avoided certain fights because you think it will make it worse. But the reality is to make things better you have to have the hard conversations and work through the problems to make things better. This is how you fight towards the glory of God.

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