Mark Driscoll LoveLife - Session 3

In the earlier part of today, Mark Driscoll spoke on the importance of friendship in marriage. In this second half Driscoll discusses sex in marriage.

Driscoll identifies that most couples gets married and they have differing views of sex. They think leading up to marriage that sex will be a lot easier to do, but once they are married you realize sex is not as easy as they though because they differing views of sex.

Driscoll transitions into a section of his talk where he defines that marriage and sex is part of God’s design.  Driscoll points us to the Bible, which has made clear in Genesis 2 that it is not good for man to be alone so God created a woman for man to be with.

There are some points that Driscoll draws out of this text that as Christians we should recognize and believe. Here are some of those points below:

Be an adult —> move out of your parents house ——> get a job —-> get married and enjoy the benefits.

Driscoll discusses how our culture has reversed this process by saying:

Have sex before marriage —-> be lazy —-> live with your parents ——> and be a baby.

 Based off of Genesis 2 and the the rest of the Bible Driscoll also points out that

  • “God made us male and female with differing roles but equal.” God planned for man and woman to walk beside each other in life.
  • “Love is more like music than math” It is a beautiful thing that just flows out of us and not something you just figure out.
  • “Marriage is made for one man and one woman by God’s design.”
  • “God made our bodies for sexual pleasure and it was good.”
  • “Sex is to be without shame.”
  • “Your standard of beauty is your spouse.”

Driscoll then presents the big idea when it comes to sex which consist of three basic perspectives.

Sex as God

“The sexual appearance, pleasures, identity in sex has become too much and has turned into your god.”

“Sex is an act of worship. And when we choose sex as more important than God then it has become an idol.”

“People will defend their idols.”

“It’s not like people don’t know what God says its they don’t want to listen to what God has to say based off of Romans 1.”

” America’s favorite past time isn’t baseball. It’s porn.”

“We need to look at the whole world in terms of worship. Romans 1 tells us that we either worship the creator or we will worship creation.”

“We think we are so advance, but we are just pagans at heart. We should not worship sex, but worship God for blessing us with sex.”

Sex as gross

“Religious fundamentalist will say, Sex is dirty, nasty, and gross so save it for marriage.”

“Pleasure will either lead you to God or away from God.”

“For much of the church we have failed in preparing people for sex.”

“Sometimes people have been victims of sexual assault which has resulted in a bad view of sex.”

Sex as gift

“Sex is not a god or gross it is a gift.”

“Sex feels good and pleasurable.”

“Sex is for protection. What this mean is it is to protect your marriage. A good defense of adultery is a good sex life.”

“The Bible doesn’t say what is normal in how many times you should have sex, but it should be done.”

“God provides sex as a gift because he wants us to love our spouse. God makes rules to maximize pleasure.”

Driscoll then challenges people to think about what perspective do you gravitate to? For most of us we are either looking through a perspective of sex as either “sex is god” or “sex is gross.” So what this means is that our relationships are most likely filled with both of these perspectives.

Driscoll argues that because of these perspectives it is a strong reason to communicate and work out these issues by going to the word of God to see that God has created sex as a gift to glorify Him. Therefore, it is only through the grace of God, and reading through scripture that we see sex as a gift. But this takes time, says Driscoll, and patience to form a solid theological understanding that sex is a gift.

“God gave sex as a gift for marriage so we should enjoy it.”

Driscoll ends the session with challenging couples with different perspectives of sex to ask each other, “How can you come together as one?”

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